In Diet

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Ok, so I’m laying in bed trying to be depressed, I am not as good at it as I used to be.

I got the food, a piece of cake and 6in sub. When I got home I was like… Darn that’s not enough binge food. So I ate but couldn’t finish the cake.

Then I called myself fat, ugly, crazy, unlovable etc. but when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I was like… Damn I’m pretty.

Then I got into bed, put the lights out and tried to cry myself to sleep. So far… No tears. Hmmmmmmmmm…

Just cause someone doesn’t think I’m their type (the whole dating thing shannanigans) doesn’t mean a dag gone thing. I won’t take the weekend off from my Team Love tasks like I had wanted to. I will spend 15 minutes per day interacting. Fingers crossed.

As I drove home I told the place I volunteer at to replace me on the schedule, and I didn’t feel hopelessly guilty or beat myself up. I just sort of felt relieved.

And truth be told… I like this girl who can be rejected and still laugh. This is the girl I’ve waited 31 years for. I’m super proud of me.

Ps. Lisa says rejection is too harsh a word, use ‘they’re choosing another option 😉 )

I can’t take anymore breaks from dating. Years have slipped by. Must do as D* says and just learn by doing. Ok I’m doing…

Right now though I’m going to bed, goodnight world

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