In Happy

What is your mantra? Where do our inner beliefs stem from, and can we change them in our lifetime? Is true forgiveness really possible? Read on to see what I learned over the last 3 months, it shall astonish you!

What on earth does committed and beauty mean? Not to worry, I’ve been searching for the very same answer. Recently I completed Science of the Mind Course 101. Twice during the 8 week course we were offered a jar of words. We were then instructed to pull one out of it and in that word we would come to find the meaning and significance to it in our lives over the next few weeks.


came first

A few weeks later…


What now? Committed: I don’t stick. Not to resolutions, diets or 30 days trials. I start off well with a real verve. Then it peters out. Into a withered, mockery of ambition. I am lost to failure. In a swift decisive stroke, I cut back on all my ambitions, to just the few things that meant the most to me.

Yoga, Being Positive and Self Acceptance.


~ somehow I had this belief I practiced Yoga quite a lot. Over the last few months, I’ve kept an online food and nutrition diary. I did a Fitness monthly report and a daily report. This is what I found:

April: 1 x
May: 2 x
June: 3 x
July: 5 x
August: 12 x
September: 11 x
October: 10 x
November: 14 x
December (so far Dec 6th): 5 x

Did you see that?
Can you see the gradual climb? I started with Yoga once a month. Then once a week. Then it increased to twice a week. Till Suddenly came the SOM 101 and BHAM!!!! I stopped giving up hope.

So Gorgeous

I feel like I poured my heart and soul into Yoga in November but I only attended 14 classes. Glass half full.

Looking at it another way, I attended a class every 2nd day. That’s a huge difference, from once a month.

It’s almost time for me to head to my class, maybe I can fit in ‘being positive’ and ‘self acceptance’

Being Positive

40 days before Thanksgiving I started a Gratitude Diary. Each day I would record 10 things I was grateful for. Quick easy, barely a ten minute project.

Here’s how that went? I started 12 days late. Bah, at least I started. Resistance is our egos way of keeping the status quo.

  • About 10 days in, I began to be grateful for things I took for granted.
  • 15 days in, I began to be grateful for the things I previously despised.

I mean not even 2 weeks earlier, stuff I hated, I suddenly was very glad to be exposed to, so that I could appreciate my Now. All the heartache from the past. Poof! Sorrow, gone. Heartache, whoosh. Fear? See ya later.

I can’t be bothered anymore to shoulder anyone elses blame, including my own self pity and guilt. Gosh did I like feeling guilty. I punished myself for years for acts of omission. Who does that? Depressed, Unhappy people stuck in the past – that’s who!

Lesson Learned: I make my happiness and I’m responsible for my life. Every single tear and chuckle. I create. Not my friends, my job, my bank account. I am not a product of my environment. I rock the socks in every room I enter.

Feel the tingle yet?


Where does beauty fit in?

During a group share where we each had to list a belief we had about ourselves mine went something like this:

I am unlovable because I don’t look the way I should.”

The words that were silently unspoken, but understood nonetheless – — because I’m not beautiful, or even close to average. I am ugly.

That’s where beauty comes in, or in my case the lack of it.

Since then some really interesting things happened.

My Yoga teacher – the totally awesome Domingo said:

Let go of the ego. Just breathe here. Let go of the thoughts that say, I’m too beautiful to do a ‘Lion Exhale’, or the thought that say’s I’m too ugly. That’s just the ego

Bee Mine :)

Wait a minute. You mean to say that both our concept of beauty and ugly stem from the ego? It’s just my ego that says I’m ugly. It took a moment to sink in. And I realized it was truth. It was just my ego, reaffirming my belief. Those days when I wear sweats to work without makeup and wild hair and I just feel a mess. It’s my ego reaffirming what I believe. I make me ugly to reflect the ugly I feel inside. Get it? It’s just thoughts. Thoughts create our reality. And my reality sucked because my thoughts sucked.

In order to change reality… I changed my thoughts. My good friend invited me out to dinner tonight. I changed out of my sweats and threw on some jeans. I did my hair and my makeup. Know what? I felt pretty (except for my crooked teeth that is)

Sometime during dinner he said… getting to one of the reasons I asked you out… I would love to take pictures of you for my portfolio. You have such a great face and SMILE. What do you think?

OH MAN… yes. yes… yes….

That’s all for today folks. As you can see I have been very busy… and not busy at all. Growing and getting there. Thank you for reading, and please comment!

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Showing 2 comments
  • @Valerieholstein

    I agree that the way we present ourselves is a direct reflection of how we feel inside.

  • Lisa

    Ok, I love that this post has not one, but THREE gorgeous pictures of you… But why aren’t you smiling in any of them??

prayer at dawn